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Is it normal to lose interest in someone after the honeymoon phase?




Question -

I’ve been single for two years and dated a few people, but my feelings for them sharply drop off after the honeymoon phase. I’m worried that I’m more addicted to the chase and the honeymoon stage. Is there something wrong with me?



Answer –

Firstly, there’s nothing wrong with you. If you find you’re losing interest in the person you’re seeing after the honeymoon stage,


a great place to start would be why that is.


Are you more interested in the dopamine hit we all get in the initial stages of dating? You know, that amazing cloud-nine-daydreaming feeling we get when we meet someone great.


It’s common for our bodies to dump massive amounts of dopamine (the motivator chemical), serotonin (the happy chemical) and oxytocin (the connection chemical) into our bloodstreams during the initial stages of dating for many reasons, mainly so that we can get close with someone and fulfill our biological purpose (wink wink).





However, these feel-good chemicals can be addicting for some. Especially if you find yourself going from one person the next once these chemicals go down with one person.

 

If that’s not the case, another great question to ask is: Are you seeking out the same type of guy, which has become a pattern, where it feels familiar to you? Or is it an unresolved loop pattern from a past failed relationship that you’re hoping if you get a different outcome this time, you’ll feel better?

 

Well, remember that famous saying from Albert Einstein,



“the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing that yields the same results hoping for a different outcome”?



The man talked mostly physics, but he has a point. In order to get different outputs, we’ve gotta use different inputs….ie: change up your approach!

 

If you’re unsure of where to begin to change your approach, I’ve got good news for you:



Awareness of this is half, if not most, of the battle!



Simply by bringing awareness and curiosity to this, you’re in a great position to bring about inspired change and get those desired results you’re looking for!


If you find you’re going from guy-to-guy, why not try to take a pause from dating to focus on yourself and your growth to find the root of this? Otherwise, you’ll be treating the symptoms and not the disease.


Take a beat from dating to establish your hobbies, wants, desires, and non-negotiables in dating and what of those you’re seeking in a partner or dating prospect. Through those channels, offers up a great opportunity not only for growth but also channels in which to meet more compatible people, dating or friends, that are built on mutual interests rather than photos and swipes.


Seeking additional support from a professional through therapy or counselling may offer further insight into the root causes of these behaviours.

 



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